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Kate > Quotes

MOVIES

Fool's Gold
Tess: "Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to get divored by yourself?!"

Tess: "Car trouble? He'd have to own a car"

Tess: "Don't even think about it."
Ben: "What?"
Tess: "Don't 'what' me, you know what"

Tess: We're flying?! How d'you know what to do??"
Ben: "Y'know, playstation."
Tess: "Oh god."

Ben: "we found something, I mean, we found something."
Tess: "What if it's a body?"
Ben: "Then he was a midget, with very cheap relatives."
Tess: "What if it's a head??"
Ben: "Do you mind?"

You, Me And Dupree
Molly: "I know he's your best friend but we just got married"
Carl: "Dupree's gonna get the hang of this. He's never truly been domesticated."

Molly: "What is a tie doing on our door?"
Carl: "Looks like Dupree bought his date home."

Molly: "Did you know Dupree writes poetry?"
Carl: "What a homo."

Molly: "I can't see Audrey Hepburn getting buttered up to 'Funky Cold Medina.'"
Dupree: "I can."

Carl: "The insurance adjuster recommended we sue Dupree."
Molly: "For a moosehead?" Carl: [Carl is rubbing Molly's feet] "You have the most beautiful toes, have I ever told you that? And I'm not even a foot guy."
Molly: "Are you concentrating on the game? Or are you lusting at the feet of your soon-to-be wife?"

The Skeleton Key
Caroline: "I told you I wanted a black one this time."
Luke: "You know the black ones never stay. Beggars can't be choosers. I think it suits you beautifully. It's better than Violet or Grace, even. We'll get used to it. We always do."

Papa Justify: [Caroline is listening to the Conjur of Sacrifice record] From these chains, Lord, break me. From this prison, Lord, take me.
Jill: "What the hell is that?!"
Caroline: [stopping record] "Oh, um, it's this, uh, new band..."

Caroline: "I saw the room."
Violet: "What room?"
Caroline: "The room you said you've never seen"

Caroline: [shouting] I don't believe!

Caroline: "It's like, hypnotism, right? Suggestion? And when this stuff works, its because someone believes it works?... And if you thought, you know, that magic made you sick... you might believe in a magic cure?"
Mama Cynthia: "Somebody been workin' roots on you!"
Caroline: "Say I knew someone who thought that they'd been..."
Mama Cynthia: "Crossed?"
Caroline: "Crossed. Would they believe that they could be... uncrossed?"

Caroline: "Do you know a record called the Conjure of Sacrifice?... Because I have it if you do."
Creole Mother: "If you had that, you wouldn't say so."

Violet: "Are you religious at all?"
Caroline: "I try to keep an open mind."

Caroline: "Fiddlesticks, I don't know what possessed me."

Violet Devereaux: I bet they don't have gardens like this is New Jersey. Caroline: Actually, it's "The Garden State". Violet Devereaux: I very much doubt that!

Caroline: "Luke, she tried to kill me. She had a gun, I got away just in time but I had to leave Ben in the shed. We have to go back."
Luke: "The hell we do."
Caroline: "I left him there."
Luke: "Slow down... You didn't leave ANYBODY."

Luke: "So what exactly happened? I came to update her will, she was up with the doc and he said that he fell?"
Caroline: "He DID fall."
Luke: "Like what from his wheelchair?"
Caroline: [gestures her head towards the roof] Luke: "You cannot be serious? Up there? He fell from up there? How? He can't even walk?"

Caroline: "His words have gotten tied, tied in his throat, let the water run down, and cure this affliction. His tongue has gotten tied, tied and tangled, let the water run down, and cure this..."

Caroline: "I thought the key opens everything."
Violet: "The key? What key?"
Caroline: "The key you gave me for the house. There is a door in the attic it doesn't work for."
Violet: "Oh, the attic, it's never opened that."

Caroline: "I'm going into town for a while. Shopping."
Violet: "For what, Caroline? Caroline! For what?"
Caroline: "...you'll just have to see."

Caroline: "So was that the storm or the ghosts? "
Violet: "Well, say what you will about spirits, I always thought you could learn something from them. "
Caroline: "Like a spell? I have great respect for your husband. And whatever he thinks happened to him he's fighting it. What have you done? "
Violet: "You haven't touched your gumbo. "
Caroline: "What have you done to him? "
Violet: "I've made that special for you and you haven't even touched it. "
Caroline: "What have you done? "
Violet: "He is my husband and I am his wife I will do whatever I want to him."
Caroline: "What have you done to him? "
Violet: "Oh, you've done something."
Caroline: "He's not safe in this house; not with you."
Violet: "This is my house."
Caroline: "I'm taking him, Violet."
Violet: "NO!"

Hallie: "Are you a superstitious person, Caroline?"
Caroline: "Not per se."
Hallie: "I told my mama where I was workin, she said that house has been nothin' but blood and tears. Said the old owners were some rich brother and sister, crazy people supposedly. Died of strokes right after they sold the place... Maybe they found something they shouldn't. Maybe now Ben did too. It may be their mess up there in that room, but ain't no ghosts put a spell on that old man. She did."
Caroline: "Do you believe that?"
Hallie: "Don't you?"
Caroline: "But I heard it can't hurt you. It can't hurt you if you don't believe."
Hallie: "Then I suggest you leave that house, before you do."

Luke: "You know my mother used to say that if a lady invites you into her room, she probably isn't much of a lady."
Caroline: "Yeah, well, homegrown southern wisdom seems to grow on trees around here."

Raising Helen
Audrey Davis: "You treat me like a child, I am not a child!"
Helen Harris: "Yes you are, you are a child,and you deserve a childhood... and if won't fight for it, then I will, now can i please have your fake i.d"
Audrey Davis: "Why?"
Helen Harris: "Because I said so, give me your fake i.d"
Audrey Davis: [gets fake i.d out of her purse and throws it at Helen]
Helen Harris: "That was very adult of you"
Audrey Davis: "I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE, BUT YOU'RE JUST LIKE HER" [points at Aunty Jenny] "I HATE YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME, I HATE YOU!"
Helen Harris: "Well, I guess we are just gonna have to learn to live with that

Jenny: "I think this is lead paint, kids don't chew the windowsill!"
Helen: "Yeah stick to the table legs like i taught you"

Audrey: "What about lunch?"
Helen: "Eat it, its healthy!"
Audrey: "No, i mean we don't have any..."
Helen: "I'll take care of it"

"Henry, we have to go, stop brushing your teeth they're gonna fall out."

Helen: "See you at Vespers."
Pastor Dan: "Do you know what Vespers is?"
Helen: "Some kind of scooter?"
Pastor Dan: "Close enough."

Audrey: "What is the matter with you? Don't you remember what it's like to be young?"
Helen : "Of course I do... it was last Wednesday!"

Helen: "Did you just boss around the unborn?"
Jenny: "It's never too early to learn good manners."

Helen: "Ok, problem. They're all hemophiliacs. Can't take blood. Shhh... they're sensitive!"
Pastor Dan: "It's a joke."
Helen: "Why would I joke about hemophilia?"

Helen: "It's like they've never seen a dress before!"
Jenny: "No, they've just never seen a half of a dress."

Helen: "Pastor Dan just asked me out."
Audrey: "That is so weird."
Pastor Dan: "I can hear you. I'm still here. Go inside and do that."

Helen: "You wanna know what I've been doing at home? I've been doing the best I can. Do you have any idea what this has done to my life?"
Pastor Dan: "Hey, Helen, you have any idea what it's done to theirs?"
Helen: "Hey, Pastor Dan? Mr. Self-righteous? I'm hanging on by a thread here. I lost my sister, my social life, my disposable income, my ability to fit into a size 2, and - this just in - my job. Pretty much the only two things that haven't disappeared are my nicotine fits and a few pounds that have recently taken up residence on my ass. So forgive me if I'm not too thrilled about being lectured, in Queens, about being a lousy legal guardian to three kids who maybe shouldn't have been given to me in the first place."

Alex and Emma
Emma: ""Ample bosom""?
Alex: "What's wrong with that? It's literary."
Emma: "Oh, well, in that case, you forgot the heaving."
Alex: "The what?"
Emma: "In every book I've ever read, whenever there's an ample bosom, there's always heaving."

"Alex? If you think you're having a heart attack and you're going to die, call me first, okay? No use wasting money on the bus if you're just gonna be dead when I get here."

Emma: "What is it with guys like Adam? Do they really like being driven crazy by women like Paulina? They're like lemmings running into the sea. They can't wait to be drowning in their own misery. If they're not in agony, then it can't be love! Why do men want women like that?
Alex: "Maybe you're not picturing Paulina the way I'm picturing her.
Emma: "Gorgeous? Exciting? Incredibly sexy?
Alex: "Maybe you are.
Emma: "Yeah, that's great for a weekend but what do you think will happen in the long run?
Alex: "What do you mean, like the next weekend?
Emma: "No. Like when it's time for the first laundry. I know, I know. In great romantic novels there is not laundry or there's people like Ylva or Elsa to do it. Maybe that's why I like them. They can was their own clothes.

"You borrowed money to gamble? Are you out of your mind?"

"There are some things that are nothing more than what they are, they're not meant to last. They just take their place in your heart and make you a little smarter the next time."

Emma: "Good night."
Alex: "Can you say good night if you're only sleeping for two hours?"
Emma: "Good *night*."
Alex: "Apparently, you can."

Polina: "Mr. Shipley, Ylva will set you up in the Guest Cottage."
Emma: "Ylva? What kind of name is Ylva?"
Alex: "She's Swedesh."
Emma: "That's not a real name. Who made that up, Jaqcues Cartier?"
Alex: [growls] "It's her name, okay?"
Emma: "Okay. How do you spell it?"
Alex: "Just like it sounds."
Emma: "I-L-V-A"
Alex: "No. It's Y-L-V-A"
Emma: [confused] "Y-L-V-A? That's not how it's sounds!"
Alex: "Well, that how she spells it!"
Emma: "Okay! You want Y-L-V-A? It's Y-L-V-A."
Alex: "Good."
Emma: "Just so you know, it's not how it sounds."

Emma: "Who is she?"
Alex: "She's this pain-in-the-ass au pair."
Ylva: [Swedish accent] "Well, here we are."
Adam: "Thanks, um..."
Ylva: "Ylva."
Adam: "Ylva. Now that's a beautiful name. How do you spell it?"
Ylva: "Y-L-V-A."
Adam: "Ah. Just like it sounds."
Emma: "Very funny!"
Alex: "What? I take it from life."

Emma: "Does the fact that you called seventeen times last night with no response from me send any kind of signal to you?"
Alex: "Yeah, I mean, I'm not an idiot. I figured you probably wanted to talk to me but that your machine was broken."

Alex: "I think I'm in love with you."
Emma: "I think I couldn't care less."

Emma: "I can't figure out what's worse, having to know every single detail of your desperate love for some other woman, or having to know that you obviously didn't even come close to feeling the same way about me."

Emma: "What's your book about?"
Alex: "It's the story of a man who's frightened of commitment yet so desperately in love with a woman he's afraid it might kill him. It's a comedy."

Le Divorce
Roxy: "You shouldn't accept expensive gifts from a man."
Isabel: "Why?"
Roxy: "Because it puts you in a position of having to do what he wants."
Isabel: "I'd do it anyway."

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
Andie: "Like, do blondes, like, really have more fun?"

Andie: "True or False: All's fair in love and war"
Ben: "True"
Andie: "Great answer."
Ben: "Good question!"

Andie: "Our love fern! You let it die!"
Ben: "No, honey, its just sleeping"

[Andie is holding a tissue in front of Ben's face]
Andie: "C'mon, blow. Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles"
Tony: "Yeah, uh, I hate Mr. Sniffles"

Andie: "Unattached?"
Ben: "Currently"
Andie: "Likewise"
Ben: "Surprising"
Andie: "Psycho?"
Ben: "Rarely, Interested?"
Andie: "Perhaps"
Ben: "Hungry?"
Andie: "Starving"
Ben: "Leaving?"
Andie: "Now?"

Andie: "Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play?"
Ben: "Who's Princess Sophia?"
[Andie points at his crotch]
Andie: "Little, big, little, big... I don't know... we will find out!"
Ben: "You can't name my member... Princess Sophia."
Andie: "Yes, I can!"
Ben: "If you are gonna name my... member, you have to name it something hyper masculine. Something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!"

Ben: "You're already falling in love with me"
Andie: "I'm gonna make you wish you were dead" [blows kiss to Ben] "Poor guy"

Thayer: "Is she on something?"
Ben: "God I hope so."
Andie: "Are you saying I'm some kind of MENTAL PERSON?"

Andie: "Hey, listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columbia, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, I can write about whatever I want."
Ben: "Like, shoes?"

Andie: [Crying at restaurant after waitress asks if everything is okay] "My boyfriend thinks I'm fat!" [Flicks food at him] "And I can't eat in front of him! I can't eat in front of you! I have to go to the bathroom."
Ben: [Receives dirty looks from other customers] "I don't thinks she's fat!"

Michelle: "So, tell me, how long have you guys been seeing each other?"
Andie: "Seven days."
Michelle: "Seven days. Interesting."
Ben: "Is that too soon to be seeing a therapist?"
Andie: "Well, Ben, seven days isn't like a lifetime, or anything..."
Ben: "It's like a week."

Andie: "I love you Binky... but I don't have to like you right now."

[Andie is making Ben's place all girly. She's put "chick" CDs in his CD player]
Andie: "Sheryl, Tori, Sinead, Jewel, Fiona, Carly... Gang's all here!"

Ben: "Look who made the trip with me."
Andie: "It's our love fern! Oh, Bennie-boo-boo, boo-boo."

Ben: "That's what I was, huh? I was your guinea pig, somebody you can test your theories on."
Andie: "And I was just a girl somebody picked out in a bar"
Ben: "Yeah, so what, big deal? Hell, now you can even use it as a little twist in your story"
Andie: "That's a good idea, maybe we should bet on it"
Ben: "You know what, you did your job now Andie"
Andie: "Yes I did"
Ben: "You wanted to lose a guy in 10 days, congratulations you did it. You just lost him"
Andie: "No I didn't Ben, cause you can't lose something you never had!"

Andie: "Why do they always forget my bacon?"
Jeannie: "I can't believe you got that guy knocked out."
Andie: "Only for a few seconds."
Lana: "Andie, I am loving your notes on this piece."
Andie: [with her mouth full] "Thank you, Lana."
Lana: "When are you seeing him again?"
Andie: "Tonight. He's inviting me over to his house for dinner."
Lana: "Excellent! I've got a feeling about this one."
Michelle: "I hate it when she pops her head in like that."
Andie: "I never noticed it."
Lana: "A-hem. I heard that. And Andie, tonight take smaller bites."
Andie: "Thank you, Lana."
Michelle: "Oh, my God!"
Jeannie: "Disgusting! I can barely eat over here."

Thayer: "We, you know, we got a whole bunch of work we have to do, but we're still on for poker at your house this weekend?"
Ben: "Oh, you count on it."
Andie: "Whoo! Boys' night."
Tony: "Whoo!"

"I have to crack this guy. I mean this is Defcon 5, and I have to do something truly appalling. It's not funny."

Michelle: "Oh, you are never going to pull this off."
Andie: "Watch me. Tonight, I'll hook a guy. Tomorrow, pull the switch. Before the ten days are up, I'm going to have this guy running for his life."
Jeannie: "You're not going to burn his apartment down or bite him, or anything?"
Andie: "No! I'm going to limit myself to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships. Basically, everything we know guys hate. I'll be clingy, needy..."
Jeannie: "Be touchy-feely."
Andie: "Yeah."

Glenda: "Now Andie, I hope you know that we expect you to come back here because you have held Ben to his lowest bullshit score since his tonsillectomy and we are thrilled!"
Jack: "LOWEST!"
Andie: "Why were all his other girlfriends bullshit losers?"
Glenda: "What other girlfriends? You are the first girl he ever brought home! Don't you break his heart now!"

The Four Feathers
Harry: I've left the army.
[Ethne laughs in disbelief]
Harry: No, Ethne, I have left the army.
Ethne: Why?
Harry: There was talk they might send us abroad. For a year or two. I didn't want to wait that long to get married.
Ethne: I would have waited. Or come with you. My mother did the same for my father.
Harry: Yes, I know, but it tisn't what I wnated for us. You're all that matters to me now.
Ethne: Where were they going to send you?
Harry: They weren't sure.
[the church door opens and a delivery boy from the army gives Harry a package that contains three white feathers]
Ethne: [Picking up the feathers from the floor] Is this your friends' idea of a joke? What is it, Harry?
Harry: Feathers of cowardice. Yesterday we were informed that our regement would be shipping out to Sudan. That we would be sent to war.
Ethne: You don't know where they were sending you, you said it yourself. You did it for me. No one in their right mind could call you a coward. Especially not your friends. If there's been some kind of misunderstanding you have to clear it out. You have to go back to the regement and clear it out.
Harry: No, I can't.
Ethne: Then I will. I'll go see Trench, Willoughby and Castleton myself and tell them it's my fault you resigned. You did it for me.
Harry: It has nothing to do with you, Ethne!
Ethne: Then why?
Harry: I never wanted to join the army! I did it for my father. I thought I'd serve my commission for a year or two and keep everyone happy and then I could...
Ethne: Do what? Wait until we were married to tell me the truth?
Harry: Ethne, I never meant to lie to you.
Ethne: No, but you were quite happy to let me concieve myself. Do you think people will let us forget this?
Harry: I don't care what people think, Ethne. All I care about is us.
Ethne: It's not about us, Harry. It's just not about us. Jack would give his life for you.
Harry: Don't you think I know that?
Ethne: Then go back. It's not too late. Tell them you wouldn't have resigned if it weren't for me.
Harry: I would have resigned. And I wouldn't have gone to war for anything or anyone.
Ethne: Then you are a coward.

The Cutting Room
[Chrissy knocks on trailer door and enters]
Blonde woman with glasses: "What's the matter with you? It's Cooking Live!"
Chrissy: "I'm gonna take a walk in the forest anybody wanna come?"
Woman with brown hair: [whispering] "Chrissy ?, I still know what you did last summer"
Blonde woman with glasses: "It's pitch black outside!"
Chrissy: "Ok, catch yall later!"
[Chrissy leaves trailer]

Desert Blue
Professor Davidson: "Remember: one person's interminable stretch of highway is--"
Skye Davidson: "Is another person's road to adventure, I know. But going out of our way to see a giant ice-cream cone? That's crazy"
Professor Davidson: "Crazy? Crazy is NOT to see the giant ice-cream cone. How'd you like to tell your friends we were in Baxter--Oh, didja see the giant ice-cream cone? No, we missed it. THAT would be crazy"

200 Cigarettes
Jack: "Look, what happened between us last night is like this ongoing problem with me. It happens all the time: I meet someone, we go home together, but then the next day it's...."
Cindy: "What? Next day what?"
Jack: "Well, they tell me that suddenly they've developed these feelings for me"
Cindy: "What are you saying, that every woman you go home with falls in love with you or something?" Jack: "Yes! It's like a curse! It never ends!"
Cindy: "A woman falls in love with you and you think that's a curse?!"
Jack: "You have no idea!"
Cindy: "No! I don't! Because I think you're lucky! I mean, there are some people who wait their entire lives for somebody to tell them they feel that way about them, and you, you just throw it away like it's nothing, like it's a minor inconvenience! Well let me tell you something, Jack, you are cursed -- just not the way you think you are"

Almost Famous
Penny: "I always tell the girls never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously then you never get hurt. If you never get hurt then you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely you can just go to the record store and visit your friends"

Penny: "How old are you?"
William: "Eighteen"
Penny: "Me too! How old are we really?"
William: "Seventeen"
Penny: "Me too!"
William: "Actually, I'm sixteen"
Penny: "Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth just sounds different"
William: "I'm fifteen"

William: "I have to go home"
Penny: "You are home"

William: "Don't you have any regular friends?"
Penny: "Famous people are just more interesting"

Penny: "We are not groupies. Groupies sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. WE are band-aides. We're here for the music"

Penny: "Look - you should be happy for me. You don't know what he says to me in private. Maybe it is love, as much as it can be, for somebody-"
William Miller: "Somebody who sold you to Humble Pie for fifty bucks and a case of beer! I was there! I was there! ... Look- I'm sorry"
Penny Lane: [sniffs] "What kind of beer?"

Penny: "I've made a decision, I'm gonna live in Morocco for one year. I need a new crowd. Do you wanna come?"
William: "Yes! Yeah"
Penny: "Are you sure?"
William: "Ask me again"
Penny: "Do you wanna come?"
William: "Yes! Yes"

Penny: "You're too sweet for rock and roll."
William: "Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and I am PISSED OFF! I could be very dangerous to all of you! And you should know that about me... I am THE ENEMY!"

Estrella Starr: [about Penny Lane] "She Changed everything. She was the one that said "No more sex. No more exploiting our bodies and hearts." Just blow-jobs, and that's it!"